Advice to a Young Woman

I’ve seen you at our seminars. Perhaps you’ve read my books. I see your pictures and I read your responses everyday on Facebook. I feel like I know you as a daughter. I see a beautiful, intelligent, vibrant young woman with a witty and ironic sense of humor. Perhaps you made poor choices in men and birthed children you are struggling to raise without a father. Yet you approach this overwhelming task with determination and courage, even though sometimes you feel like it’s draining you dry.

You put up a good front but you feel bad about yourself. I can tell. Maybe your father abused or abandoned you or failed to give you the healthy affection you deserved and longed for. So you failed to see in the mirror the picture of grace, beauty, and radiance that God sees when He looks at you. In your desire to get your desperate yearning for masculine love fulfilled you settled for the first man (really a boy) who paid attention to you. You settled instead of chose. You set your bar too low. Without even knowing it you allowed your self-image to be controlled by whether you had a man in your life. Therefore a bad man was better than no man at all. You still secretly fear that no man wants you—that somehow you are less a woman for it.

But know this. You are special. You are beautiful—despite what the world or anyone who should have known better has ever said. You are loved unconditionally by a heavenly Father who knows your deepest secrets and still cherishes you enough to die for you. This Father desires you and wants to hold you in his protective arms. Know that and rejoice in the fact that he has a plan for your life.

And for goodness sakes understand how special you are—don’t settle! Hold out for the man you deserve--a man who will cherish and honor you but still lead with wisdom and integrity.

--From an older man to all young women